surreal illusions

Viewing my world through the camera lens

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    • First new content update in a while with a new wallpaper! October 15, 2009
      The DTM wallpaper is finally up in a variety of sizes to choose from to suit your monitor settings. On a slightly (only very slightly) related note, the photo blog will be updated as and when, and not on the 1st and 15th of each month. This gives me more chance to work on something around my work schedule without hurrying something through. And also keeps yo […]
    • Sparks and flames are the order of the day September 5, 2009
      With the DTM screaming back into the UK at Brands Hatch, the fastest touring cars make a great sight to watch. You can see the action from the weekend so far over in the DTM Galleries
    • Ah, yes, those were ye olde days... September 1, 2009
      ...as said by old people, harking back to ye olde days of yesteryear. And I'm doing the same thing in the new 'photo blog post'. Although the car is probably older than me, and the photo was taken only in the past couple of weeks at time of writing, that hasnt stopped me giving it a vintage feel. If you want to know how I did the effets, then […]
    • No silly caption today, just 3 new galleries online. August 16, 2009
      As promised, the main galleries are online from yesterday's action at Donington Park. Action from the Formula 2 and two of the support acts in the shape of the GT Cup and Lotus On Track Elise Trophy are up, with some more support act photos coming soon. To see the latest photos, you simply need to click this following link: MSV Racing Gallery.
    • Ferrari vs Ambulance vs Tractor August 15, 2009
      Perhaps not literally, but it looks like it in the 'photo blog photo' from this weekend at the F2 Donington meeting. Comments appreciated while the full galleries are been worked on from the Formula 2, GT Cup, and Lotus on Track Trophy. They will be online soon, so watch this space!
    • GT Cup, FPA and Lotus on Track - new photos! July 26, 2009
      Three new galleries are now online for you to feast your eyes on. This time, national GT racing and Formula Palmer Audi from Saturday 25th at Oulton Park. They are in the MSV Racing Gallery of the site.
    • A new free wallpaper July 25, 2009
      Appears I've gone wallpaper mad the past few days. Along with some new sizes of previous wallpapers, there is a new one. Although all this means is you've got new free stuff to download! Aren't you lucky. Head over to the wallpaper page to check out the WTCC wallpaper with the UK's touring car ace Andy Priaulx at the forefront of the wall […]
    • First F2 race and the WTCC qualifying photos online July 18, 2009
      Some more photos from a busy World Touring Cars and Formula 2 weekend at Brands Hatch are online. Galleries include the first F2 race on UK soil for 25 years, 2 wheeled BMW's from the WTCC boys. Head over to the WTCC and F2 galleries to view them. The races on Sunday are broadcast live on Eurosport, so tune in if you can!
    • Firey F2's and 2 wheeled Seats - new photos July 18, 2009
      The first photos from a busy World Touring Cars and Formula 2 weekend at Brands Hatch are online. Including flaming F2's, 2 wheeled Seats and some gravel trap action amongst the other cars. Head over to the WTCC and F2 galleries to view them. Watch this space for any further updates throughout the weekend.
    • A new free wallpaper July 15, 2009
      The Dunlop Motorsport Festival was at Donington on the 5th July. One photo taken there gave me a chance to create a new wallpaper. You can download the new wallpaper in the wallpapers section. You can also comment on this new wallpaper in the 'photo blog'.
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How to take photos….

Posted by surrealillusions on January 22, 2008

Photo Guide

My guide to taking photos:

  1. Buy a camera.
  2. Take it out of the box.
  3. Throw away any instruction booklets. They are useless.
  4. Put battery in.
  5. Run back to the shop to buy a memory card.
  6. Put memory card in.
  7. Swap the memory card and battery over as you put them in the wrong place.
  8. Realise the camera isn’t working and throw it out the window.
  9. Quickly run outside and catch it as you’ve had a brilliant idea.
  10. Recharge the battery.
  11. Wait a bit. perhaps you can read a book, or watch tv, or maybe take the pet camel for a walk.
  12. Take out newly charged battery and put in camera.
  13. As you believe in bad luck, there is no step 13.
  14. Switch camera on.
  15. Swirl it around a bit as you now view the world through the camera lens.
  16. Fall over as you got dizzy.
  17. Pick yourself up and look around to check no-one is watching.
  18. Smile to yourself and laugh evily as you now hve a new toy in which you may be able to cause world domination.
  19. Put the kettle on and make youself a cup of tea.
  20. Take a picture of your pet camel and share with your imaginery friends with their pet camels.

Have fun!

This entry was posted on January 22, 2008 at 21:47 and is filed under Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “How to take photos….”

  1. wildstorm said

    January 23, 2008 at 00:30

    Instruction manual? Is that what I threw away? LOL.

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